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loquaciouslunacy:

simonbobx:

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dis is what my blog is all about

accurate

noctex:

Sometimes the metal scene bums me out so much. 

I go to shows because I want to see the band, first and foremost. Yet time and time again, when reading articles against girls in the metal scene or just seeing the lack of interaction other than a direct flirt, it gets disappointing  My boyfriend points out that he likes to stick close to me at shows because he always notices guys checking me out and doesnt want me to be approached or bothered like I am sometimes when I roam alone and get the odd drunken-dude that demands a number. I appreciate my boyfriends incentive, but then it got me thinking:

Guys only talk to me when I am single, then when I am in a relationship, they back off like I have been taken as some private property who cant have a conversation with another guy. When I used to go to metal shows alone, I was there for the band and talked to some people now and then and it was fine. Then when back in a relationship, my boyfriend can joke around with a guy selling him a cd, but I get a stern respectful face and a handshake like I am too much of a lady. What I am trying to get at here is, I have only been taken way too seriously as a girl in general and stepped back from in the metal community, or seen as the ‘girlfriend’ of the ‘true metalhead’ guy I am with. I love my boyfriend dearly, and I know he has nothing but respect and goes we both exchange bands all the time, but its not about him, its about the community and this double standard.

Dont get me wrong - I know this doesnt relate to everyone. I have met cool people in the metal scene that are sweet dudes.

I feel like girls who go for the tomboy jeans and tee type get in as a friend, but if a girl dresses up, has pictures with a metal tee and skirt or whatever else that reads feminine - they are ultimately seen as attention seeking with the abuse of metal. And if metal is a ‘brotherhood’ and guys can become buds by just seeing another in a metal shirt, why isnt there a ‘sisterhood’ ? Why do girl scoff at other girls wearing a band shirt, while the other girl does the same to you? Are girls just generally used to not being taken seriously, so in turn they dont take OTHER girls seriously?

I just dont see why girls should have to prove themselves to have respect, if guys get respect by just wearing a single metal shirt.

Girls are having to “prove” themselves in male-dominated fields all the time, exactly as you’ve described, and it’s very annoying. There have been thousands of posts on Tumblr about girls in “nerd culture” being called out as fake, poseurs, or doing it for attention, especially if they are conventionally feminine/femme. If you are less-than-attractive or downplay femininity, men see you as less of a threat (or, as one man so delightfully put it, there’s “less competition”). But when men like to buffer their masculinity or compensate for it through a subculture, it ends up that women make them feel self-conscious and then they resent us for just existing in “their space”. From my experience, the entire world seems to be male space.

And even the rave scene likes to brag about its PLUR and equality, yet some of the most skilled DJs I know are female and are treated like dirt, or like “they must have slept with someone” to get the gig. DJ Jimni Cricket has played all around the world, sews her own clothing, is generally adorable, and is a fantastic turntablist, yet there are always comments on either end of the spectrum: “She only got the gig because she’s cute!”; “Ugh, who did this ugly bitch gang to get a gig?” It always ends up being about whether or not she is aesthetically pleasing to men rather than her actual skill as a performer.

And I think all of these attitudes rub off on women because they might feel the same self-consciousness; I know I used to. When a girl is not very feminine or attractive (such as myself), she has an easier “in” to the “brotherhood”, and feels a camaraderie with the men by not having to be conscious of her lack of femininity. She is “one of the guys” and takes pride in it because she’s been taught to scorn femininity, even her own. The second another girl enters the space—especially an attractive one—a lot of girls are just as likely to pounce on the idea that she’s not a “real” fan or that she doesn’t belong.

I feel like it’s basically a microcosm of patriarchy in that femininity overall is not welcome, unless it’s for the benefit of a man (as you said, being perceived more as your “real metalhead” boyfriend’s “girlfriend”, an extension of him, rather than as your own person). And since women are conditioned to perceive femininity as inferiority, they are pitted against each other in competition for male validity, subconsciously or not.